Perfection

I remember walking into treatment petrified. In the past 3 days my had completely changed, I saw who I thought was my Best friend show his true colors, my boyfriend crying over thinking that he had lost me forever, and dropped out of school one quarter before I graduate. I was sitting there with weeks worth of personal items because I would be living in their facility. As the day dragged on after telling my story 10 times over and over again to complete strangers who would change my life was so emotionally draining. I was a ballet dancer. I was a very sick child. I was sexual abused. I am a survivor of a high school shooting... I became my story I was what people read about in books or on the news. I felt completely lost and alone. All I wanted to do was discharge "do my time" and go back on the "Outside"> the First two weeks I hated it. I felt like I was transported back into time when I was a small child who needed to ask for everything. I didn’t tell anyone my story, where I went to high school I was a tightly locked safe. Until one day where we were asked to be venerable... I let it out everything I had been keeping in for so many years were out in the open and that was the first time I cried in to treatment. One of the other patients grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug and told me that I didn’t need to be perfect patient. That was the first time I can remember someone telling me I didn’t need to be perfect.